a mesh of things

[1] you can't expect people to be like you. to think the same on things, to understand at the same rate, to have lived with the same values.

even though i have kept this in my mind from years and years of experience, i can't help feeling mad when it happens. i guess, i will never get used to the feeling of disappointment. heartbreak. </3


[2] just today, i realized how much my social network decreased after i started working. i was so looking forward in meeting new people --which i did. but i still do not have friends. i have co-workers, i belong to a team. but it still doesn't feel like home.

when i started with my shifting duty, i gave up a big part of my church activities. i left the curia which i really love, i cannot regularly come on our sunday meetings since a lot of times i'm at work, i cannot attend our regular apostolate due to the later reason too. it sucks. </3
LOM is home to me. the people in it are my family. it's sad to make them feel neglected at times.


[3] i really feel like a grown up lately. i can feel the burden of making decisions and doing sacrifices just so my future will be a whole lot better. i sometimes envy people who can go places, who can buy nice things, who is having new experiences day by day. but i need to tell myself to be grounded on my goals and keep looking at it straight. i feel stuck but i know in time, i'll go somewhere.


[4] despite all the mesh of things on my mind, i realize more and more how much i need Him in my life. how i need to trust Him more and to spend time talking to Him more. in God i have refuge. in Him i trust.